


let him know

by mutation



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: (a little), Canon Compliant, Light Angst, M/M, Missing Scene, Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-07
Updated: 2016-12-07
Packaged: 2018-09-07 02:32:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,576
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8779651
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mutation/pseuds/mutation
Summary: Victor returns to Hasetsu alone. When he arrives at the Katsuki household, someone is waiting for him. Oneshot.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Alternate summary: episode 9 didn't give me the solo Victor scene I wanted, so I wrote it myself.
> 
> I've never written fanfiction before, so I'm sorry if this seems rough!

Victor stepped into Fukuoka Airport, alone and a day too early. People bustled around him in all directions as he dragged one foot in front of the other, his body on autopilot. His shoulders sagged forward and his eyes remained downcast, dark circles standing out against his pale skin, a stark contrast to the confident, cheerful image he usually assumed whenever in public. Everything from the voices of other people to the announcements over microphones sounded muffled in his ears, as if he were underwater. While his eyelids drooped like so many others who had just gotten off the same flight, Victor’s mind refused to rest. Anxieties manifested like lightning, appearing in burning flashes that caused his chest to jolt painfully, then fading to dull, aching afterimages when he forced himself to be more reasonable.

_ Makkachin will be fine,  _ he told an image of the vet solemnly offering his condolences.  _ He’ll be okay.  _ Another thought began to materialize, this one not about his dog, but he cut it off. _ They’ll both be okay. _ Regardless, a constant undercurrent of worry gnawed at his heart, and no words Victor told himself would make it go away. He scrubbed one hand over his face, mindless of the people around him.

Someone bumped into Victor’s shoulder, jarring him back into reality for a moment. His feet had led him to the baggage claim.  Blinking, he wondered with a stab of panic if he’d forgotten his coat on the plane, only to realize he was wearing it. The other passengers standing around the carousel looked just like he felt, yawning and squinting at the screens of their phones. Victor sighed and ran a hand through his hair.  He had always been good at staying two steps ahead, able to improvise in any situation he didn’t plan for, but who could have expected this?

_Go back to Japan right now._ At first, Victor had thought he was hearing things. Even when Yuuri explained the situation, he wanted to stay. Of course he cared about Makkachin, but his responsibilities as a coach came first. Yuuri had remained insistent, a note of pleading in his voice, and Victor had wondered briefly if he just wanted him gone. It was only when he remembered the shrine in Yuuri’s home, a picture of a dog at its center, that he understood. 

So he’d left.

Outside, the cold air restored his senses a bit. He raised one hand to hail a cab and scanned the street. The full moon shone high in the sky, just as it had when he boarded the plane to leave last night. Looking up, Victor wondered what Yuuri must be doing right now.  A six hour time difference meant that it would still be afternoon in Moscow.  Maybe he was—

A car horn nearly startled him into dropping his luggage. He hadn’t noticed a cab pulling up, and now bent down to address the driver, an older man with little hair left on his head, as he lowered the passenger window.

“You looking for a ride?” he asked, eyebrows raised.

Victor confirmed that he was, and thanked the man as he pulled his suitcase forward. Soon enough, he was on his way back towards Hasetsu. Every time he shut his eyes to try and get some rest, his worries kept him awake like tiny static shocks. Eventually, he gave up and looked out the window, watching as they passed fewer and fewer cars the further they drove.

It didn’t take long before he was standing at the entrance to the Katsuki family hot spring, the stars in the sky his only company. A cold breeze stung his ears. The vet wouldn’t be open at this hour, so Victor walked in, trying to stay as quiet as possible. Maybe Makkachin would be waiting in his room, curled up in the middle of the bed. He slid the door shut behind himself and looked up to find that he wasn’t alone.

One light illuminated a corner of the entrance room in a soft, orange glow. Victor recognized Mari, Yuuri’s older sister, leaning against a counter with her hair pulled back in its usual style as if this was something she did every night.  She met his eyes and spoke before he could ask any questions.

“Makkachin will be okay,” she said, standing up straight.  “The vet just wants to keep him overnight as a precaution.” She paused and tucked her hands into the pockets of her jeans. “I’m more of a cat person, to be honest. But Yuuri loved his dog as much as any one of us, and he would’ve wanted to know something like this as soon as possible. I thought you might be the same.”

It took a moment for the news to fully sink in. Makkachin was okay. He would be ready to come home in the morning. Victor stood there and released a slow breath, just letting the relief wash over him, soothing all the aches of anxiety.

Only a few seconds passed before they returned, twice as powerful as before. With nothing to divide his attention now, Victor’s mind zeroed in on Yuuri, producing a cacophony of what-ifs. He shut his eyes and hoped Mari would think he was just exhausted.

“Thank you,” Victor managed, already beginning to head in the direction of his room. “That’s a relief to hear. You should go to bed, I’m sure you’re tired.”

“Hang on,” Mari said.

He stopped and faced her. It was hard to make out her features in the dim light.

“You’ve got a look on your face right now that reminds me a lot of my brother,” she said, voice softer than Victor was used to hearing. “Why don’t you come outside and talk a bit? Beats worrying yourself away in your room.” When he visibly hesitated, she continued. “It still has to be pretty early in Moscow, right? Yuuri won’t be on for a while.”

The last thing Victor wanted right now was to be around another person (unless that person was Yuuri), but Mari had a point. He left his luggage where it was and followed her out to the porch.

Leaning against the wooden porch railing, Mari took out a pack of cigarettes. The chill didn’t seem to bother her, despite that she only wore a pair of sweatpants with a thin work shirt. Once she pulled out a cigarette for herself and placed it in her mouth, she extended the pack to Victor.

“Oh, no thank you,” he said, putting his hands up.

Mari shrugged and tucked the pack away. She lit up and exhaled the smoke slowly, looking out across the grassy yard with its little pond. Victor did the same, leaning forward on the porch railing with crossed arms and raising his eyes to take in the stars. No matter how many times he saw the night sky, it still amazed him to see so many at once. Growing up in the city meant a usually blank night sky, adorned only with the moon. Out here, he thought he understood what the characters in old books meant when they said they found their way by starlight. His thoughts returned to Yuuri, how he was doing with Yakov. Despite his worries, he meant what he’d said; Yakov was a capable coach, and Victor knew he would help Yuuri, albeit with a few complaints. It was only a matter of Yuuri asking for that help, a thought that caused Victor to hang his head. He could just picture Yuuri deciding to face the free skate alone, relying on what he already knew rather than risk showing weakness to a complete stranger.

Not that an action like that sounded totally unfamiliar.

“Yuuri has always had trouble with being afraid,” Mari said, as if reading his thoughts. She took a drag of her cigarette. “When he was eight, he hated thunderstorms. Every morning he had to watch the weather forecast to make sure there were no storms incoming. If there were, he always begged to stay home from school or hid under the covers in his bedroom. We told him the thunder couldn’t hurt him and thought that would fix the problem, but it seemed like it just kept getting worse. So I sat him down and told him a story.” Here Mari held up a finger and assumed an exaggerated tone. “When they were kids, thunder and lightning were actually very good friends. They used to play in the sky every single day. But one day they had to move far away from each other. Every time a storm happens, that’s just when they get to visit each other again. It’s loud because they’re laughing from having so much fun playing together.”

She chuckled, the cigarette dangling from her fingers. “I didn’t think it would actually work. The next time a thunderstorm rolled around, I found Yuuri sitting in the middle of the floor and shaking. But he was telling himself the story out loud, over and over. Most boys his age would’ve given up as soon as it didn’t work right away, but he’s a strong kid. He kept at it until he didn’t need to say the words out loud anymore.” Mari exhaled, and the smoke drifted up towards the night sky, undisturbed by any breeze. “I guess what I’m trying to tell you is that Yuuri will be fine. His nerves still trip him up sometimes, but he knows how to cope with them. You’ve been helping his confidence a lot, too. Have some more faith in him.”

Victor turned his head to give Mari an irritated look. “I do have faith in Yuuri,” he said in an even tone. Then his expression softened, and he looked out at the yard again. “How could I not, after what I’ve seen him do?”

He continued. “But it’s my responsibility to be there as his coach. I need to watch the performance so I can help him improve. There’s a difference in how you skate when you know someone whose opinion matters to you is watching, too. I’ve felt it, and I’m sure Yuuri knows the feeling, too.” Victor paused, watching the grass tremble with a gentle breeze. “Besides, I  _ want _ to be there. Not just as a coach, but as a friend.”

Mari said nothing, choosing instead to take a long drag of her cigarette. Without turning to face him she asked, in a calm voice, “Is that what you are?”

For a moment, Victor was unable to respond, looking at her with wide eyes. He felt his heart stutter. The first place his mind went was the Cup of China. Kissing Yuuri on live, national television might not have been the most well thought-out move, but he’d been looking for an excuse for too long and the opportunity had been right there. He hadn’t looked angry about it, though. That wasn’t just to spare his feelings, right? Yuuri had brought it up later, but their conversation was interrupted. Maybe he really did have another reason for insisting on Victor’s departure.

“What do you mean by that?” Victor finally said, fighting to keep his voice calm. “Has Yuuri said something to you? Did...did I do something wrong?” Wouldn’t he have said something to him directly? Or was he just waiting for the right opportunity?

Shaking her head, Mari stood up straight. “No. The opposite, actually.” For the first time since they came outside, she fully faced Victor. “Now, I know Yuuri is an adult who’s capable of making his own decisions. I’m not here to tell you to stay away, but I’m his older sister. I worry about him. So, Victor,” she said, meeting his eyes, “what are your intentions with Yuuri? Because if this is a fling, you’d better let him know that right now. You know he’s looked up to you his entire life, and he’s never been in a real relationship before. I just don’t want him believing in something that isn’t there.”

Victor blinked at Mari, trying to process everything she’d just said. Usually he might have feigned a laugh and told her how mean it was to just say something like that, as if he were some sort of predator. Standing there, though, he felt hours of travel weighing down on his shoulders, his eyelids. After worrying over Makkachin and Yuuri for so long, his thoughts were beginning to fizzle and become white noise. It felt like he was made of lead. Victor ran a hand through his hair and sighed.

“It isn’t a fling,” he admitted quietly. “And maybe ‘friends’ isn’t the most accurate word for how I feel. Really, I wasn’t expecting Yuuri to be so  _ amazing.  _ I had no doubts that he was talented, but it’s different seeing that passion up close. The way he skates...I’ve never seen anything like it.”  _ And the way he talks about what he likes. How he gets that stubborn furrow in his brow when he doesn’t quite land a jump. How easy it is to make him blush. _

Victor smiled, staring over Mari’s shoulder but seeing nothing. “Yuuri has kept on surprising me in all the best possible ways,” he murmured. He looked at her then, expression becoming more serious. “I don’t know what Yuuri wants from me, but I have no intentions of just fooling around.”

They stood in silence for a moment. Then Mari nodded, satisfied with the answer. “Well,” she said, turning to go back inside, “you should probably let him know that, too.”

The door shut without a sound. Victor’s eyes lingered on it before he looked up at the stars again. Just let him know. Was that really all he needed to do? The night sky offered no answers. His thoughts drifted over the past few months, the subtle changes between himself and Yuuri, the things that remained the same. All the little touches and glances that’d become increasingly frequent with time. Yuuri’s expression when Victor had left the night before. A single snowflake fluttered in front of his eyes.

He turned and went inside.

 

* * *

 

This time, Victor entered the airport with a sense of purpose. Between watching the livestream of the Rostelecom Cup last night and thinking about his conversation with Mari, he’d only gotten about two hours of sleep. Add that to his rush to get to the vet as soon as possible in the morning, and he was certain he looked even worse than yesterday. At least he didn’t stand out amongst the crowds of people getting off red-eye flights.

Now, sitting in one of the many plastic chairs set in a row, Victor ran his fingers through Makkachin’s fur and went over what he wanted to say in his head, trying to ignore the ache in his heart. Everything he came up with sounded too desperate, like he was still a teenager. Maybe this wasn’t the right time after all. He leaned back and sighed, shutting his eyes.

Makkachin barked then, drawing his attention.

The moment his eyes met Yuuri’s, every doubt and worry from the past day evaporated from Victor’s mind. Warmth flooded through him, beginning at his heart and reaching all the way down to his toes. All of his plans vanished in its wake. Without thinking, he stood up and started running.

In all his hours of worrying, he’d never considered that Yuuri already knew.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading, I hope I did alright! Yell with me about this show on twitter @caelondians


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